Have you ever felt being guilty just because you failed to lend money to your sister for her education? Or have you felt that regret for not lending money to your mother who has to pay for your garage door services in Tucson? There are times when our relatives and friends approach us for a small loan to help them tide over their financial woes. As the Chinese saying goes and we have to be extremely cautious in how we reject them.
What would you do or say in order to ensure that your relationship remains intact? Read on to find out the 5 useful ways you can use to reject someone politely.
Ask him for a loan. If your relative or friend constantly borrows from others, tell him that you are about to ask him for a loan as well. It lets him know that you have none to spare and even better, he might understand the pressure of rejecting a loan request from a friend.
Oh! I’m really sorry, I wish I could help but I don’t lend money to friends. Make sure to emphasize that he is not being singled out because he is untrustworthy and it applies to all your friends; if you have to, explain how a past experience you had lending an amount of money to a friend led to a change in nature of your friendship with him.
I’m sorry, but I’m very tight financially as well. It could be true or it could be not, however this gives you legitimate grounds to firmly say “no”.
My wife controls my finances, and she doesn’t approve of me lending money out. While you might be a bit of a jerk for pushing all the blame to your spouse, sometimes you just have to take the control out of your hand and give it to someone else, especially when the borrower has no grounds to approach her for a loan.
Offer alternative ideas. A friend will only approach you for a loan (mostly) only if they felt that they have no other avenues to pursue. Just like you, they don’t want the friendship to sour because of money issues – unless they got into a friendship with you precisely because they wanted to mooch off you – and it usually takes a lot of courage and pressure before they even think of approaching you. Be a supportive friend and suggest ideas and alternative ways they can pursue to get the amount of money they need, such as getting a part-time job or selling their old stuffs in a garage sale.
The article is especially important as most of us loaned money to friends and family because we felt that there was no other choice. No matter which method you use, do keep in mind that they (most probably) have abandoned their pride and dignity doing the asking and we should try to help them maintain a sense of dignity and give reassurances that nothing will change even after this incident.